Palmer Charles

I am a blessed man. As my family grows, I see more and more how graciously God navigates and guides us through seasons. Through each transition I am more overwhelmed and thankful for His generosity to me. First, God entrusted me with the most beautiful woman and Godly wife that I could ever hope to be partnered with. Then, two years later our lives were rocked with the addition of little Gabriella. As we prepared to ease ourselves into the terrible two's our lives were rocked yet again with the anticipation of another little one! Just when we thought we were gaining some traction and perceived "control" over our lives, God gently reminded us again that He is in control and has incredible things in mind.

Palmer Charles was born a week before his due date early on a Saturday morning on March 31. What an indescribable experience to go through with my Jenna. After nine months of restless sleep and lots of back-rubs the day came when we miraculously witnessed the split second moment of a person joining us in the world. It truly is indescribable, the formation of a beating heart inside the womb, then the few flutters of movement which gradually turn into visible kicks: undeniable evidence of life that only our Creator can give.

God wasn't lying when he said there would be pain in childbirth. I praise God numerous times everyday that I am not a woman and childbirth is a perfect example of this! It's so humbling watching Jenna willingly experience the pain of childbirth for the health and good of our baby. Jenna sweetly says that there is now way she could go through childbirth without me, but really all I do time contractions, hold her, breathe with her and whisper encouragement into her ear. Inside I'm gritting my teeth and wondering how much more of this I can handle before I yell, "Give my son the juice!"

The most humbling moment came after Jenna had been in intense active labor for several hours and had transitioned into the large jetted tub at the birthing center. The warm water worked like magic and allowed her a few seconds of relief between contractions. I knelt by her side holding a wet cloth on her head and letting her squeeze my hand. I timed contractions and constantly told her how proud of her I felt. As the contractions came on so quickly it was easy for both of us to feel out of control which is the toughest part of natural childbirth: purposefully losing control and letting the mother's body do what it was created to do!

As the contractions came on strongly and quickly Jenna felt overcome by them and even our Lamaze breathing began to lose it's effectiveness. In Jenna's worst moment of feeling completely out of control she simply cried out in prayer, "Lord help me, I can't do this on my own!"

Do you know how badly I want to be the one who cares for my wife and assures her that no matter what she can rely on me and I can carry her burdens? I wish I could describe how humbling it was to watch my wife intentionally experience pain and as it became harder than she could take her true colors showed and she went to her Rock. I hope that in my worst moment that I would turn to my Creator. Jenna taught me an invaluable lesson in this moment: in our hardest trials, cry out the Lord. Our suffering may not even be for our benefit (although in God's sovereignty we know that all things are). He might be doing a work in us for everyone else to witness. We don't know if our midwives were believers but they stood back and watched us labor together, and saw Jenna turn unashamedly turn to her God. I know they saw something different in my wife.

Although those intense minutes seemed like hours they ended just like that. Jenna told the midwife she felt like she needed to push and in a few short minutes we heard a baby cry and Palmer was placed on Jenna's chest. We both cried.

After the cord stopped pulsing giving little Palmer the last of his needed blood supply from Jenna, I told the midwife that I'm not the guy who needed to cut the cord, there are medical professionals for that. She laughed and generously stood in the gap for me.

The next few hours were perfect, we held our baby (Jenna) and slept (me), and our midwife bustled around our room cleaning up, taking temperatures and vitals from both mom and baby and let us rest. Within a few hours Jenna's strength had returned and after a quick picture with our midwife were on our way home.

Before:



After:









Although Pro-Life isn't an intentional theme of this blog, it's the most obvious message that Palmer's beating little heart shouts more loudly than I can. Palmer was a person from the moment he was conceived. God saw his unformed body. (Psalm 139). He will be inconvenient, expensive, and cause all kinds of trouble but He is made in the image of God and it's my privilege and honor to be called his dad and introduce him to his Heavenly Father. It's not our decision to avoid the 9 month pregnancy that his little life required, or to decide whether or not that little fertilized egg should have a chance, or a matter of women's rights. It's about a little person that God chose to breathe life into. It is worth it, all of it. I'm so glad my parents thought the same way about me.

Thank you God for Palmer Charles.

Welcome to my studio, Mackie!

In all sense of the word I've been a "professional" musician since I was fourteen years old and I remember my first paid gig well. Some friends who were a little older than me played in a classical music trio for weddings and special events and had a gig come up that they couldn't take and called me to fill in. It was a wedding reception at a classy bed and breakfast in Manitou, CO called the Cliff House. I thoroughly enjoyed myself for the two hours that I was supposed to play and enjoyed it even more when the event planner handed me a check for $250. That led to numerous weddings and receptions and then to a steady gig at the Gaylord five-star resort and hotel, The Broadmoor.

Even after years studying music in college and then having my albums available at any large music retailer I have always struggled with financially investing in my trade as a musician. Tools are necessary for our jobs as any skilled tradesman accepts. Even as a starving musician in Nashville I started a business with the cheapest start-up cost possible as a window washer. I went to Home Depot and spent $49 on two buckets, a squeegee and a pole and the cashier had to pry the cash out of my hand.

I'm slowly accepting the reality of adding to my musical tool belt and I bought this Mackie HR824 pair a few days ago and added them to my work station. These guys are amazing!

A Day in the Life...

When worship pastors are comparing notes one question topic that often surfaces is the logistics of our jobs which we all strive to systemize to make our lives easier. Worship and creative arts positions in average sized churches typically require an individual who is creative, organized with administrative ability. In my experience it's tough to find one person who exemplifies all of these qualities (I know which ones are my strengths and weaknesses!) which is why programs like Planning Center were developed and created.



There is a reason that Planning Center is the number one service planning program available today. It's (to put it simply), amazing. Short of actually being my brain, Planning Center is the virtual house that the logistics and administration of my worship ministry lives in. From all of my devices I can plan and manage services, schedule people, download and administer mp3's and charts for services, see which musicians have actually viewed them, track how long the service is actually taking, and so much more. Additionally, with Planning Center's accessory program Music Stand I can click a button and view my service plan, charts and mp3's on my iPad at my keyboard on Sunday morning.



Since our church can't afford iPads for all of our band, they are left in the dark ages with actual paper which isn't actually a negative, as I can't find a great iPad reader that works perfectly with my chart system.



I've been extremely proud of my musicians who have made the jump from traditional, completely useless music charts to the Nashville number system. With a small amount of music theory knowledge, any musician can pick up this system which all churches ought to be using. I will write another blog on the Nashville Number system with more insight, but there is a reason why this system is used and embraced by all music professionals in Nashville.

The only negative is that it requires me to print off two sets of charts, one for my band and the other for my vocalist. Those who are playing and singing look at two charts which takes practice, but easily mastered.



The vocalists lyric sheet is really only necessary for practice so they can take notes and learn their lyrics, but they are encouraged to use the stage display for any lyric reminders during the service so it doesn't look like they're reading.

Without going into a lot of detail the band number chart lists a place to write in the key and beats per minute for the click (these are the only things that can potentially change depending on set list), and then the actual chart. Each bar that will be played in the song is represented on the chart which leaves no room for excuses in the band members for not knowing the order of the song. Applying numbers to a scale in a key allows for players to transpose in their head and play the chart in any key necessary. More normal chord charts write in a chord letter ambiguously above a word on the chart which really doesn't communicate any information to the player. Number charts can be written as specifically as possible to notate grove, irregular chord changes and keep everyone on the same page. This is especially helpful for playing a brand new tune such as an original tune without a recording.

Your band might balk slightly at having to use a different system, but once they know and understand it, you won't want to use anything else. Ask any member of my band!

Seasons

This is Cash.



I've owned him for the past eight years. This is me roping off of him in high school.



My alter-ego is Jim Craig from The Man from Snowy River and I actually grew up wanting to be a large animal vet. God had other things in mind and I've held on to my horse pretty tightly. "Necessary Endings" by Henry Cloud is a book that I've been processing through and selling Cash was an opportunity to practice the reality of endings that Cloud speaks of. For whatever reason I don't let go of things very well and unfortunately for me, letting go of things is a part of life. As we read in Ecclesiastes, "there is a time for everything."

I'm a slow processor and am bad at "metabolizing" a past experience to learn from it as Cloud writes, end it, and move on to the next season. My goal is to preach about and shine a light on the things HE is doing in my life because HE is so intricately involved in every aspect of my life and I want His evidence to be known. (The point of this blog). This is me writing and metabolizing the reality that I don't always know what He is doing or what I'm supposed to learn. If you've spent any considerable time talking with me or reading my blog you know that most of the lessons I've learned in life and the metaphors in my vocabulary came from working with horses. This means I've either graduated, given up my credibility, or need to find new material for my metaphors.

Providing for and leading a family requires sacrifice and being a Christian requires giving up our lives - losing our lives to gain Christ. I know families and Christians who are literally losing their lives for Christ and sacrificing much; my loss seems small in comparison. I am thankful for God's patience as I even give up my horses to Him. Cash went to a great home on a huge ranch with other horses to a great guy who will love him, use him and eventually retire him. (Horse talk for shoot him. Just kidding, I promise I'm not that calloused, this is normal in processing endings, I read about it.)

Anyway, here's to twenty years of being a cowboy. I'm not giving up my spurs just yet. (I can't find them).



Now does anyone want to buy a horse trailer?

Cowboy Collin

Welcome to Grace

We shot footage for this video last November and I finally finished it this week. This is procrastination at it's finest. A common thread in many creative resources is that a true creative can create and drum up inspiration whenever and wherever and just be creative. I agree with this to a point as there are times when we are required to get a job done. Those who work in a creative field deal with deadlines and jobs that need to finished regardless of if the inspiration. Imagine a world where inspiration ruled: "Sorry, professor, I just didn't have any inspiration to write the paper." I also agree that having a deadline and routine outlets to create are great motivators which in a sense force us to create. I personally find the most enjoyment in my creativity, however, when I allow it to express itself and act when I feel inspired. My favorite songs, videos, drawings, and ideas all come from these times.

This video is no exception. At Grace we all wear so many hats that part of our day-to-day is doing a continual shuffle of priorities: the most immediate and pressing get done first and what can wait for tomorrow, or the things that are not necessarily in our direct field of expertise also somehow take a backseat! I've never considered myself a videographer and when there are charts to write, services to plan, and people to schedule, these elements often wait. Sometimes a long time.

I get to work with some cool guys. One of our associate pastors, Kyle Pierpont, is a photographer and captured these images of Jay and our congregation. My good friend Tyler Ewing writes source music for Guiding Light, As the World Turns, the Oprah Winfrey Network, and much more. Check out his company, Intrigue Audio to hear more of what this talented guy does. He wrote and orchestrated the soundtrack to our video, our pastor, Jay Klopfenstein shared our hearts at Grace, I slapped a few shots together and tah-da!

Our Little Girl

My camera has been on a sabbatical for too long. I pulled it out of the case and snapped a few pic of our quickly growing up daughter before my battery died...that's what happens when it isn't used more frequently. I get it, I get it.

I was sitting on the floor, following her around snapping pictures of her and she wandered over to the side table and sneakily grabbed my iPhone which she refers to as, "Baby." Perhaps we are sending the wrong message. After flipping open the case she began to scroll through my aps saying, "Peekersh, peekersh, peekersh," and nodding incessantly. She wanted to look at pictures of herself.



After I took her precious away from her to somehow discourage her extreme vanity she trundled over to the bench she stands on where she waves good-bye to me when I leave for work.



She then proceeded to blow me a kiss and say, "A-you!" (I love you).



There is some profound parenting lesson and experience in the middle of this that I haven't quite wrapped my mind around, but I'm thankful for these moments and the "peekersh" to remember them by which probably isn't helping the whole vanity thing.

That's okay. I'll toughen up tomorrow.

Or maybe the next day.

Think About It

Honesty time, I frequent Facebook often. I was a Facebooker before you could upload photo albums and it was restricted to colleges, and remain of the sect that thinks it should still be that way. This is actually quite dumb to say because as an adult well out of college I wouldn't even be allowed on Facebook. How about a spoon full of that sugar. Anyway, as we've traveled the nation and lived in numerous places we've developed many relationships that I thoroughly enjoy keeping up with and Facebook is a convenient, albeit contrived and sometimes shallow, window into their world.

I'm also the type that reads links that people share - if it's important enough for your status, it must be important enough to read and I find myself gleaning all kinds of valuable insight and wisdom from places like Huffington Post as well as very strange YouTube videos. Quite frequently, however, I run across a gem worth mentioning. I want to share a few with you, not necessarily due to the content of all of them.

Leaders differentiate from followers in lots of ways. One way I see among my circle is that followers tend to "jump on the bandwagon" pretty quickly. In Christian circles we see this pretty blatantly as trends come and go. There are many prominent leaders who come up with a catchy new way to think about our Christianity, or a niche topic like money and relationships and followers are quick to buy into their new way to think about it.

I'm preaching to myself here, because I honestly have fallen into this trap many times myself, and as I mature and grow in my faith I want to stand strong against the devil's attacks which we all know too well are often disguised.

John Piper and the Desiring God camp are a tremendous wealth of Biblical insight and have championed and I might venture to say, "popularized" reformed theology. I ran across this post on their blog by David Mathis entitled "Parents, Beware: Proverbs Are Not Promises."

Feel free to read the whole thing, it's not very long, but this is the first Desiring God material that I've read and honestly disagree with. Mathis states that we might reject the prosperity gospel as it applies to finances, but buy into the idea that if we follow a list of rules in the Bible there will be a specific outcome which he highlights here in the form of relationships.

He mentions a few Proverbs that offer a direct outcome if certain actions are taken, Prov 22:6, "Raise up a child in the way He should go and in the end he will not depart from it," and many others that sound a lot like promises. He cautions readers of the Proverbs to not read them as promises:

Now, we need to be clear here. The proverbs commend certain paths to family members because they reflect the ways God ordinarily distributes his blessings. But ordinarily does not mean necessarily. Excellent wives have good reason to expect honor from their husbands and children. Fathers with integrity often enjoy seeing God’s blessings on their children. Parents who train their children in the fear of the Lord follow the path that frequently brings children to saving faith.

But excellent wives, faithful husbands, and conscientious parents often endure terrible hardship in their homes because proverbs are not promises. They are adages that direct us toward general principles that must be applied carefully in a fallen world where life is always somewhat out of kilter.

As the books of Job and Ecclesiastes illustrate so vividly, we misconstrue the Word of God when we treat proverbs as if they were divine promises.

What? Most of the Proverbs are if-then statements which by definition are promises. If we can't trust that when God said, "do something, and this will be the outcome." Then we have some serious faith and belief issues.

It is true that following the letter of the law to achieve a desired outcome is not possible. This is not because the letter of the law is wrong, it's because we are people. Imperfect, sinful people. Mathis states that excellent wives, and faithful husbands will have terrible hardship. This isn't because Proverbs is wrong, it's because as people we aren't capable of being excellent, completely righteous people 100% of the time. It's not possible. My challenge is not the legitimacy of a God inspired promise, but in my ability to be perfect. Were I capable of raising my children perfectly in the way that they should go so in the end they would not depart from it, I believe that because the Bible says so there is a great chance that in the end my children won't depart from it.

The reality of our humanity is a huge humility pill we all need to swallow. I'm not perfect. I have already made numerous mistakes raising sweet Gabby and will continue to make many more even as I prayerfully strive to be the best dad I can be. It will only be by the Lord's grace that she won't depart from the Way as she's older, not because I did anything right. The flaw in Mathis' writing is not the Proverbs, it's in his view of man. This really surprises me coming from a Reformed Calvinist. Mathis' statement sounds like a "mulligan" for parents. "You can try really hard and be a perfect parent, but the Proverbs lied, your kid might end up a failure. Good luck." The problem is not the Proverb, the problem is me.

I feel like I'm on a rant and I apologize for that. I know that the scripture can stand for itself. It's lasted thousands of years without me defending it, but when I stake my life on these principles and find hope in my dark and discouraging hours, it angers me when trend-setting, spiritual leaders minimize and belittle the Word of God.

Psalm 119:114 is my thankful prayer.

"Your promises have been thoroughly tested, and your servant loves them."

Here's my point: Read and believe the Truth first. This is our filter and the lens with which everything that comes toward us must pass through. 1 Thessalonians 5:21 says,

"Test everything. Hold on to the good."

No matter the source, whether it be from me, your pastor, a good book. Test it. Let's hold on to those promises!